The Post I Do NOT Want To Compose: Male Domestic Abuse.


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I do not know or understand domestic abuse/violence first hand. That does not stop me from having questions and opinions on domestic abuse/violence. First, domestic abuse is physical, mental and verbal. Domestic violence is usually physical. Both are despicable evil and nasty. Both leave scares. Both should be a violation of criminal laws. I firmly believe if two humans are involved in a relationship, putting your hands on one another in a violent non sexual or playful way is out of bounds and should not be tolerated or accepted. BY EITHER GENDER.

 

Much like with cases of suicide, I do not pretend to understand why men & women choose to stay in abusive/violent relationships or marriages. This escapes me. I do not comprehend why people choose suicide, that also escapes me. Choice, free will, is something we humans possess and have the mental ability to put free will and choices into use on a daily basis when it comes to ending our lives or staying in situations that may end our lives.

 

During my 8 years of college I had the experience of working for a battered women’s shelter in the college town where I attended my institution of higher learning. I started out as security for the shelter and slowly migrated into the position of extractor, which is what we called ourselves for lack of a better term. The battered women’s shelter was funded by the federal government,  that small funding we received, way back then, was rare but significant in that the federal funding allowed us some leeway when it came to legal issues.

 

We were labeled FRIEND OF THE COURTS. That label allowed us, as extractors, to proceed into a battered woman’s place of residence and assist her and her children, to remove them from any and all places with “imminent dangers” to that woman and her children. That made for some very interesting situations during my 6 years as an extractor. Over the course of those 8 years working for the battered women’s shelter, I was privy to many a battered woman’s story. I think I heard just about “it all” in those 8 years.

 

I can honestly say I never did come to understand why women or men stayed. Back then I was under the false and incorrect impression that women were the only ones being battered, abused or victims of domestic violence. I was mistaken.

 

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More than 40% of domestic violence victims are male, report reveals

 

Campaign group Parity claims assaults by wives and girlfriends are often ignored by police and media

 

From Domestic Violence Statistics:

 

Men: The Overlooked Victims of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is considered one of the most pressing issues in American society. Everyone quotes the statistics given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. However, in a conflicting survey taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men.

 

Despite many findings that show almost equal amounts of abuse perpetrated against men and women, the media and government focus the most attention on the female victims of domestic violence. Men are largely silent on the issue because of the perception that men are physically stronger and should be able to subdue a female attacker easily. Those men who do report physical violence are more likely to be ridiculed–both by law enforcement and by the public–than women are. More money is spent on women’s programs, and more crusades are launched on behalf of women who are victims of domestic violence despite the fact that men are almost equally or in some cases more likely to be victims of both physical and psychological abuse.

 

Although there has been an increase in the number of fatal domestic violence incidents against women, men are more likely to be victims of attacks with a deadly weapon. According to one study, 63% of males as opposed to 15% of females had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner.

 

What is worse than the statistics, however, is the fact that there has been little research in the area of domestic abuse against men because neither the Justice Department nor any other agencies will fund such research. Because they refuse to do the research, people are able to perpetuate such myths as women are only violent when defending themselves, or that men could more easily leave a violent relationship.

 

Because of lack of funding, there are also few shelters that cater to men. Most shelters available will only take women and children, and some even have an age limit on the boys that they will take in (13 years old).

 

There is some help for male victims of domestic violence. MenWeb (www.batteredmen.com) offers resources for men, as well as a place for them to tell their story. There is also a Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women (1-888-7HELPLINE) operated by a nonprofit in Harmony Maine. Clark University and Bridgewater State University are currently conducting a study on male victims of domestic abuse.

 

Men who suffer domestic violence can only receive help if they break the silence. Not reporting domestic violence because of the stigma attached is the main reason that men currently receive few services, and one of the reasons that studies on the issue are so few.

 

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Sources:

Figure taken from MenWeb: CDC/DOJ Survey Men more often victims of intimate partner violence. http://www.batteredmen.com/NISVS.htm

 

Philip Cook,”The Truth About Domestic Violence”. From the book Everything You Know is Wrong (Russ Kick, 2002). Published by The Disinformation Company.

 

Domestic Abuse Hotline for Men and Women. http://dahmw.org/

 

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Get the Facts & Figures

 

The  statistics on this page have been compiled from various sources.

 

On average, 24 people per minute are victims of rape, physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner in the United States — more than 12 million women and men over the course of a year.

 

Nearly 3 in 10 women (29%) and 1 in 10 men (10%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by a partner and report a related impact on their functioning.

 

Nearly, 15% of women (14.8%) and 4% of men have been injured as a result of IPV that included rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

 

More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

 

Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime (48.4% and 48.8%, respectively).

 

IPV (intimate partner violence) alone affects more than 12 million people each year.

 

More than 1 in 3 women (35.6%) and more than 1 in 4 men (28.5%) in the United States have experienced rape, physical violence and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

 

Females ages 18 to 24 and 25 to 34 generally experienced the highest rates of intimate partner violence.

 

From 1994 to 2010, about 4 in 5 victims of intimate partner violence were female.

 

Most female victims of intimate partner violence were previously victimized by the same offender, including 77% of females ages 18 to 24, 76% of females ages 25 to 34, and 81% of females ages 35 to 49.

 

I’ve said it for many years, why stay? I wish I understood the reasons I’ve heard over the years, but to be totally honest, I do not. It’s not love or compassion or respect or honor or cherishing you, it’s as far from love, honor, respect, compassion or cherishing you as it gets. If a snake, gator or zombie were chasing you, your instinct would be to flee for survival. Many men and women do not have the instinct for survival when it comes to domestic abuse/violence.

 

If there is going to be a real serious discussion on domestic abuse/violence, it can not be gender specific.

 

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BOTH genders must be held accountable and treated the exact same when it comes to domestic abuse/violence. Women do not get a free pass when they commit domestic abuse/violence….based on their gender. I know that Janey Rice and Ray Rice are whats called a fighting couple, which means they have been fighting one another since hooking up as high school sweethearts. They BOTH give as good as they get. They have BOTH made a relationship choice to stay together, even get married, after this elevator incident. 

 

I mention the Rice’s only because this seems to be the incident that woke America up to domestic abuse/violence. I believe with all I am, that any form of abuse is unacceptable. I give a flying fuck what gender is responsible for the domestic abuse/violence. I am sick and tired of hearing women say that no woman should ever be hit. Thats a lie. When I hear women tell me a woman can do nothing that should put her in danger of being hit….I want to explain to these dumbasses that if a woman seriously attacks/hits me, no matter who she is, she is getting hit back. I have observed many woman start fights with a man 3 times her height and body weight and kick his ass. You mean to tell me she didn’t deserve to be hit? That man didn’t have a right to defend himself?

 

I dislike ANY one putting their hands on each other. I dislike the attention being on men and not on women. Women don’t deserve to be hit? Men don’t deserve to be hit as well. As a Black man, I hate double standards. Being Black I have dealt with the concept that because of my skin color there is a separate set of rules & standards for me. Now I see the same garbage is applied to domestic abuse/violence in America. Remember how Jay-Z was attacked by his wife’s sister in an elevator as his wife stood by and watched? Solange kicked him, punched him, spit at him while being half assed restrained by a bodyguard. All this was also visible on an elevator security camera. What was Solange’s punishment….she was the subject of stand up comedy routines. Nothing more.

 

Domestic abuse/violence is not a joke, for those involved and for those who are affected. NOBODY deserves to be hit. NOBODY deserves to be abused. NOBODY. Men OR Women.

 

What is domestic abuse?

The Home Office definition of a domestic violence incident is:

  Any incident or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.

It is the one that The ManKind Initiative uses.

The ManKind Initiative believes that domestic abuse and violence is a social problem where both men and women can be victims.

Statistics

25 key facts about male victims

Prosecutions of Domestic Violence Perpetrators (2012-13)

2010/2011 Scottish Crime and Justice Survey: Partner Abuse: http://tinyurl.com/9n8t5bx

The 90% statistic

Some organisations claim that 90% of men who claim to be victims of domestic abuse, are in fact perpetrators. The ManKind Initiative does not believe this figure is remotely true and does not believe those that use this figure have the interests of male victims of domestic abuse at heart. This figure has not been verified independently nor peer reviewed nor tested.

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When You Sit Down To Thanksgiving Dinner This Year, Remember This….


 

By Jueseppi B

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For decades, Congress has authorized SNAP in a bipartisan fashion through the Farm Bill. They don’t have to do it in a way that hurts children, seniors, veterans, and vulnerable families. Learn more, and pass it on:

 

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Working to End Hunger in America

 

Valerie Jarrett & Cecilia Muñoz
November 01, 2013
07:58 PM EST

 

On November 1, millions of Americans will feel the effects of an automatic cut to food purchasing assistance provided through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).  This is assistance that serves to help families get back on their feet, and children to receive the nourishment they need to stay healthy and competitive in the classroom.  For many families, these cuts are devastating, and couldn’t come at a worse time as they begin to regain their footing following the worst recession since the Great Depression.

 

That is why President Obama has proposed an extension of pre-November funding levels in the 2014 budget.  As the economy continues to grow and recover, SNAP is proven to effectively combat hunger and food insecurity while giving millions of hardworking Americans the temporary boost they need during tough times.

 

In the wake of this cut, the strategy currently underway in the House to remove millions more families from SNAP makes even less sense. The House’s current approach will stall our economic growth over the months and years ahead, while hampering our ability to build a stronger, more robust American workforce. That is why it is imperative that Congress pass a long-term, comprehensive Farm Bill that supports a strong agricultural economy, while ensuring healthy, affordable food for those who need it, when they need it.

 

The Obama Administration is committed to helping reduce the number of Americans who need SNAP the right way—by arming them with the skills they need to succeed in the workforce and opportunities to earn the income they need to support a family.

 

Working to end hunger in America should be a major priority for all Americans. Having boys and girls going to bed hungry and struggling to perform in the classroom is both heartbreaking and completely unacceptable.  Stemming hunger is more than the right thing to do, it is also the smart thing for our economy, for business, and for ensuring the competitiveness of American workers.

 

Valerie Jarrett is a Senior Advisor to President Barack Obama. She oversees the Offices of Public Engagement and Intergovernmental Affairs. Cecilia Muñoz is the Assistant to the President and Director of the Domestic Policy Council.

 

The following are just causes that you might be able to assist this Thanksgiving Holiday. Charity and Giving.

 

 

Child Abuse…….http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.shtml

 

 

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence……..http://www.ncadv.org/

 

 

National Domestic ViolenceHotline……..http://www.thehotline.org/

 

 

Help For Abused & battered Women

………http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

 

 

Waypoint Services…….http://www.waypointservices.org/

 

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook……………..http://www.dm.usda.gov/shmd/aware.htm

 

 

National Coalition For The Homeless……..http://www.nationalhomeless.org/

 

 

Homelessness Resource Center……………http://homeless.samhsa.gov/default.aspx

 

 

National Center For Missing & Exploited Children……..http://www.missingkids.com/missingkids/servlet/PublicHomeServlet?LanguageCountry=en_US

 

 

Child AbductionResources……………http://www.globalmissing.com/

 

 

Amber Alert……………………http://www.amberalert.gov/

 

 

Coats For Kids Foundation……………..http://www.coats-for-kids.org/

 

 

Planned Parenthood……………..http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

 

 

Veterans Suicide Hotline………..http://veteranscrisisline.net/?gclid=CMq_rtG0n64CFYIUKgodoxx18Q

 

 

Suicide Hotline…………………http://suicidehotlines.com/

 

 

National Suicide PreventionHotline…………………………http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

 

 

Thank you.

 

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When Gang Rape In America Becomes A Joke….”Boys Will Be Boys”…..


By Jueseppi B.

 

 

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Kat Barr, UltraViolet:

 

 

“They raped her… They raped her quicker than Mike Tyson raped that one girl… she is so raped.”

 

 

That’s what a local man, who has been identified and is known to the media and police, said on camera about the now-infamous gang rape of a teenage girl by members of the Steubenville, Ohio high school football team last August. In the 12-minute video he is barely able to speak through his laughter.[1] He also tweeted that night that “Song of the night is definitely Rape Me by Nirvana.”[2] The girl was carried, unconscious, to different parties and raped at multiple locations throughout the night. And the dozens of teens who were there didn’t try to stop them, get help or call the police–instead they took photos and posted jokes about the attack on Twitter.[3]

 

 

Now, months later, local police are still dragging their feet and a special prosecutor has taken over the case. But only two people were arrested, and none of the teens who photographed or tweeted jokes about the crime have been held accountable. Despite the petitions, the protests, and the media attention, the sheriff announced that nobody else will be charged.[4] The city even released a statement claiming that Ohio law gives them no recourse against people who took photos or posted comments online while the girl was attacked.[5]

 

 

But under Ohio law, failing to report a felony is a crime.[6] And based on his 12-minute video, this man not only knew about the rape, but witnessed it.[7] It’s outrageous that local authorities are sweeping this under the rug–but it’s not too late for the special prosecutors to charge him and others involved. Ohio Attorney General Mike DeWine is paying attention to the media coverage and public outrage about this case, and UltraViolet has joined with NOW, Justice for Children, and the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence to call on him to prosecute the man. Can you sign our petition that demands that DeWine prosecute anyone who knowingly failed to report the crime?

 

 

Add your name.

 

 

Last August, the 16-year-old girl and her parents found out she was raped the next day by reading about it on social networks and the local news.[8] In recent weeks, Steubenville has been under a media spotlight while photos, videos, and posts to sites like Twitter and Instagram have surfaced. The crime was documented online in real time by teens on their phones.[9] It’s painfully clear that people were there, they knew about it, and some have even tried to cover it up after the fact.

 

 

But months later, only two boys have been charged with the rape. More than 70,000 UltraViolet members have signed a petition to Attorney General Mike DeWine demanding that everyone involved be held accountable. And just this Saturday, hundreds of people rallied in downtown Steubenville to demand justice for the survivor–the third rally since December. But the town is divided, and many people are supporting their local football heroes and blaming the survivor for the crimes committed against her.

 

 

We know the Attorney General is paying attention to the media scrutiny–just a few weeks ago, Ohio State University students delivered petitions to his office. He personally met with them to discuss the case and accept the 70,000 signatures from UltraViolet members. But we’re running out of time to make sure that others involved are charged. The law is clear–in Ohio, it’s a crime to knowingly fail to report a felony.  Can you sign the petition to demand justice for the survivor?

 

 

Add your name.

 

 

Thanks for speaking out,

 

Nita, Shaunna, Kat, and Karin, the UltraViolet team

 

 

Sources:

 

1. The Steubenville Gang Rape – A Timeline *Slight Update*, DailyKos, January 3, 2013

 

 

 

2. How An Alleged Rape Involving Ohio High School Football Players Unfolded On Twitter, Instagram, And YouTube, Deadspin, December 17,2012

 

 

3. Rape Case Unfolds on Web and Splits City, New York Times, December 16, 2012

 

 

 

4. Steubenville Rape Case: Ohio Sheriff Confronts Protesters, Huffington Post, January 7, 2013

 

 

 
5. Online outrage over Ohio rape case prompts city website, CNN, January 5, 2013

 

 

 

6. 2921.22 Failure to report a crime or knowledge of a death or burn injury, Ohio Revised Code

 

 

 

7. The Steubenville Gang Rape – A Timeline *Slight Update*, DailyKos, January 3, 2013

 

 

 

8. Rape Case Unfolds on Web and Splits City, New York Times, December 16, 2012

 

 

 

9. The Steubenville Gang Rape – A Timeline *Slight Update*, DailyKos, January 3, 2013

 

 

 

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Spousal/Companion Relationship Abuse: Domestic Abuse


By Jueseppi B.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is to the people in an abusive relationship right this second. Especially to the women being bullied, controlled, mistreated & abused by their men. Get Out Now. It WON’T stop. He WILL do it again. He does NOT love you. He is not JUST stressed. Him having a bad day is NOT your fault or responsibility.

 

 

Excuses are like opinions and assholes, when it comes as to why he hit you, or pushed you, or called you fat, lazy, ugly, or that old stand by “Nobody will love you like I love you” (lets hope nobody will ever love you like he has loved you), everybody has one. Some have several. Don’t listen. He hits you once, shame on him. He is allowed to hit you the second time, shame on you. You have no one to blame but yourself. Get Out Now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Age does not prevent you from being physically or verbally or mentally abused. Abuse is age and gender non specific. Men are abused as well as woman, yes that is a fact. Love is not painful. Love is not being screamed at or called derogatory names. Love is not about having your self esteem so low you start to believe the negative things he/she says to you, about you.

 

Ask yourself this one question….just this one question….if you are such a worthless, no good, unattractive mate/spouse/companion, why does he/she want you for themselves?

 

When you answer that one simple question, then go pack.

 

Ladies, Gentlemen, plan your escape. Think about your options and what is available for you to assist you in getting away from him/her. You do NOT have to stay in that abusive home or relationship situation. Money should not keep you there. Your job should not keep you there. Your children should not keep you there, especially your children. And him/her should not keep you there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It WILL happen again. And again. And again. I know it will. He/she knows it will. You know it will.

 

Don’t allow it to happen again.

 

 

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence……..http://www.ncadv.org/

 

 

National Domestic ViolenceHotline……..http://www.thehotline.org/

 

 

Help For Abused & battered Women………http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_vio

 

 

Waypoint Services…….http://www.waypointservices.org/

 

 

Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook……………..http://www.dm.usda.gov/shmd/aware.

 

 

Suicide Hotline…………………http://suicidehotlines.com/

 

 

 

National Suicide PreventionHotline…………………………http://www.suicidepreventionlife

 

 

http://www.wadv.org/wadv1.htm

 

 

You deserve a happy life. You deserve real love. You deserve peace of mind and stability.

 

 

Get Out Now. Don’t spend another night in fear.

 

 

 

Violence Against Women Act: RepubliCANTS Refuse to Renew


By Jueseppi B.

The “War On Women” continues. Now GOPretenders are telling us that violence against women is acceptable and not a very high priority. Are YOU a woman who is voting for the TeaTardedRepubliCANTS? Please contact me here, at the ObamaCrat.com, and explain why.

The Violence Against Women Act of 1994 (VAWA) is a United States federal law. It was passed as Title IV, sec. 40001-40703 of the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994H.R. 3355, and signed as Pub.L. 103-322 by President Bill Clinton on September 13, 1994. It provided $1.6 billion to enhance investigation and prosecution of violent crimes perpetrated against women, imposed automatic and mandatory restitution on those convicted, and allowed civil redress in cases prosecutors chose to leave unprosecuted.

VAWA was drafted by then U.S. Senator Joseph R. Biden‘s office with support from a number of advocacy organizations including the National Network to End Domestic Violence, the Texas Council on Family ViolenceFutures Without Violence, National Coalition Against Sexual Assault, National Coalition Against Domestic ViolenceLegal Momentum and The National Organization for Women, which described the bill as “the greatest breakthrough in civil rights for women in nearly two decades.”

VAWA was reauthorized by Congress in 2000, and again in December 2005.

The Office on Violence Against Women was statutorily established within the United States Department of Justice following the passage of the reauthorization of VAWA in 2000. It has the authority to administer some the grants authorized under VAWA, as well as develop federal policy around issues relating to domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. The Office is led by a Director whose appointment has been confirmed by the U.S. Senate. VAWA also increased funding for direct services for victims of domestic violence through the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

VAWA will be up for reauthorization in 2012. BUT with a “Negro” President in the “White Mans House” who RepubliCANTS have vowed to obstruct, and with the mission statement of the TeaTardedRepubliCANTS to keep POTUS Obama from re-election by any means necessary, the re-authorization of the VAWA, is in danger.

Even in the ultrapolarized atmosphere of Capitol Hill, it should be possible to secure broad bipartisan agreement on reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act, the 1994 law at the center of the nation’s efforts to combat domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking. The law’s renewal has strong backing from law enforcement and groups that work with victims, and earlier reauthorizations of the law, in 2000 and 2005, passed Congress with strong support from both sides of the aisle.

Yet not a single Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee voted in favor last week when the committee approved a well-crafted reauthorization bill introduced by its chairman, Senator Patrick Leahy, and Senator Michael Crapo, a Republican of Idaho, who is not on the committee.

The bill includes smart improvements aimed, for example, at encouraging effective enforcement of protective orders and reducing the national backlog of untested rape kits. The Republican opposition seems driven largely by an antigay, anti-immigrant agenda. The main sticking points seemed to be language in the bill to ensure that victims are not denied services because they are gay or transgender and a provision that would modestly expand the availability of special visas for undocumented immigrants who are victims of domestic violence — a necessary step to encourage those victims to come forward.

Senator Charles Grassley, the committee’s ranking Republican, offered a substitute bill that not only cut out those improvements but called for a huge reduction in authorized financing, and elimination of the Justice Department office devoted to administering the law and coordinating the nation’s response to domestic violence and sexual assaults. His measure was defeated along party lines.

Mustering the 60 votes needed to get the bill through the full Senate will not be easy, even though previous reauthorizations were approved by unanimous consent. Recalcitrant Republicans should be made to explain to voters why they refuse to get behind the federal fight against domestic violence and sexual assaults.

Once again….if you are a women and you vote for the GOPretenders, The RepubliCANTS The Reich Wingers, The TeaParty baggers or the Conselfishservatives….please explain to me why.

“America is back. Anyone who tells you otherwise, anyone who tells you America is in decline or that our influence has wained, doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
This nation is great because we built it together. This nation is great because we world as a team. This nation is great because we get each other’s back.
We need to end the notion that the two parties must be locked in a perpetual campaign of mutual destruction.”

~  President Barack Obama. ~

Go Out On “NO”vember Sixth, Twenty Twelve & VoteDemocratic.
Four More For Forty Four.
“BARACK” The Vote.

“Disagree Intelligently, Use Facts, Truth & Common Sense.”

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