The Onion Apologizes To Ms. Quvenzhané Wallis…….Sorta…..


 

 

By Jueseppi B.

 

85th Annual Academy Awards - People Magazine Arrivals

 

 

 

 

The Onion apology:

 

 

 

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Dear Readers,

 

On behalf of The Onion, I offer my personal apology to Quvenzhané Wallis and the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences for the tweet that was circulated last night during the Oscars. It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting.

 

No person should be subjected to such a senseless, humorless comment masquerading as satire.

 

The tweet was taken down within an hour of publication. We have instituted new and tighter Twitter procedures to ensure that this kind of mistake does not occur again.

 

In addition, we are taking immediate steps to discipline those individuals responsible.

 

Miss Wallis, you are young and talented and deserve better. All of us at The Onion are deeply sorry.

 

Sincerely,

Steve Hannah

 

 

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Read the Tweet above, then read the apology once again.

 

If your 9 year old daughter, sister, niece, aunt, best friend, grandchild or godchild were called a cunt, would Mr. Hannah’s apology be enough for you?

 

Oscar is now a gutter snipe because this satirical publication has allowed one of it’s employees, using The Onion label, to slander and degrade a 9 year old child, who just happens to be a 9 yeah old Black child.

 

I wonder what Dakota Fanning‘s “people” would say if this had been directed toward her?

 

Finally I am curious about something else too….I am curious about this: Why are Ms. Sandra Fluke, and other feminist crusaders, silent when Ms. Quvenzhané Wallis , age 9, is called the “C” word that rhymes with PUNT, in tweets by The Onion?

 

Remember when not so long ago, Rush Limbaugh called Ms. Fluke a slut, and all of America stood up in defense of Ms. Fluke. YET I hear no protest. no public outcry from the caucasian women’s movement. Can it be that a 9 year old Black American female is less of a human being than a female caucasian college student?

 

Racism Is A Bitch Ain’t It?

 

 

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OBAMA RE ELECTED

 

 

In The Balcony Movie Review: A Thousand Words; Eddie Murphy


By Jueseppi B.

 

 

 

 

A Thousand Words is an upcoming comedy-drama film starring Eddie Murphy and directed by Norbit and Meet Dave director Brian Robbins. It will be released in theaters on March 9, 2012. Please tell me Eddie didn’t return to the same guy who directed his  ”mega hits” ( I’m using sarcasm here) Norbit AND Meet Dave? Lord help us.

 

 

Plot

Jack McCall, a fast-talking Hollywood literary agent (Murphy), fibs to New Age guru Dr. Sinja (Curtis). In response, Dr. Sinja curses McCall with a magical Bodhi tree in his own backyard. The tree has 1,000 leaves and every word McCall says causes a leaf to drop; the curse dooms McCall to perish when the last leaf falls.

Ok, when a plot is 2 and a half lines long….you know you are in trouble.

 

 

Cast

Production

A Thousand Words was originally filmed in 2008, to be released in 2009, but was repeatedly delayed after being caught up in the separation of DreamWorks Pictures from Paramount Pictures and Viacom. During an interview for Fred: The Movie, director Brian Robbins stated that the film would be released in 2011. Reshoots were done on the film early in 2011.

The film was then given a January 2012 release, but after Murphy was announced as Oscar host (he has since stepped down), the film was given a release of March 23, 2012; this was later pushed to April 20, 2012. A Thousand Words will now open in American theaters on its official release date of March 9, 2012. I am thinking Mr. Murphy should have kept his day job of hosting the Oscars.

I won’t be seeing this because every single review is bad. I don’t usually listen to critics, but based on Mr. Murphy’s recent movie choices and his performances in those roles, I’m gonna take a pass. If you do spend $10.50 to see this movie, please let me know how good it was.

 

 

Directed by Brian Robbins
Produced by Nicolas Cage
Alain Chabat
Stephanie Danan
Norman Golightly
Brian Robbins
Sharla Sumpter Bridgett
Written by Steve Koren
Starring Eddie Murphy
Kerry Washington
Cliff Curtis
Clark Duke
Allison Janney
Music by John Debney
Cinematography Clark Mathis
Editing by Ned Bastille
Studio DreamWorks Pictures
Saturn Films
Distributed by Paramount Pictures
Release date(s) March 9, 2012
Country United States
Language English
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