Beverly Johnson Tells Vanity Fair: Bill Cosby Drugged Me. This Is My Story.



Bill Cosby Drugged Me. This Is My Story.


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[Editor’s Note: Cosby’s attorneys did not respond to Vanity Fair’s requests for comment.]


My head became woozy, my speech became slurred, and the room began to spin nonstop. Cosby motioned for me to come over to him as though we were really about to act out the scene. He put his hands around my waist, and I managed to put my hand on his shoulder in order to steady myself.


As I felt my body go completely limp, my brain switched into automatic-survival mode. That meant making sure Cosby understood that I knew exactly what was happening at that very moment.


“You are a motherfucker aren’t you?”


That’s the exact question I yelled at him as he stood there holding me, expecting me to bend to his will. I rapidly called him several more “motherfuckers.” By the fifth, I could tell that I was really pissing him off. At one point he dropped his hands from my waist and just stood there looking at me like I’d lost my mind.


What happened next is somewhat cloudy for me because the drug was in fuller play by that time. I recall his seething anger at my tirade and then him grabbing me by my left arm hard and yanking all 110 pounds of me down a bunch of stairs as my high heels clicked and clacked on every step. I feared my neck was going to break with the force he was using to pull me down those stairs.



It was still late afternoon and the sun hadn’t completely gone down yet. When we reached the front door, he pulled me outside of the brownstone and then, with his hand still tightly clenched around my arm, stood in the middle of the street waving down taxis.


When one stopped, Cosby opened the door, shoved me into it and slammed the door behind me without ever saying a word. I somehow managed to tell the driver my address and before blacking out, I looked at the cabbie and asked, as if he knew: “Did I really just call Bill Cosby ‘a motherfucker’?”


Why that was even a concern of mine after what I’d just been through is still a mystery to me? I think my mind refused to process it.


The next day I woke up in my own bed after falling into a deep sleep that lasted most of the day. I had no memory of how I got into my apartment or into my bed, though most likely my doorman helped me out.


I sat in there still stunned by what happened the night before, confused and devastated by the idea that someone I admired so much had tried to take advantage of me, and used drugs to do so. Had I done something to encourage his actions?


In reality, I knew I’d done nothing to encourage Cosby but my mind kept turning with question after question.



It took a few days for the drug to completely wear off and soon I had to get back to work. I headed to California for an acting audition. Not long after arriving, I decided I needed to confront Cosby for my own sanity’s sake. I thought if I just called him, he would come clean and explain why he’d done what he had.


I dialed the private number he’d given me expecting to hear his voice on the other end. But he didn’t answer. His wife did. A little shocked, I quickly identified myself to her in the most respectful way possible and then asked to speak to Bill. Camille politely informed me that it was very late, 11:00 P.M. and that they were both in bed together.


I apologized for the late call and explained that I was in Los Angeles and had forgotten about the three-hour time difference. I added that I would call back tomorrow.


I didn’t call back the next day or any other day after that. At a certain moment it became clear that I would be fighting a losing battle with a powerful man so callous he not only drugged me, but he also gave me the number to the bedroom he shared with his wife. How could I fight someone that boldly arrogant and out of touch? In the end, just like the other women, I had too much to lose to go after Bill Cosby. I had a career that would no doubt take a huge hit if I went public with my story and I certainly couldn’t afford that after my costly divorce and on going court fees.

For a long time I thought it was something that only happened to me, and that I was somehow responsible. So I kept my secret to myself, believing this truth needed to remain in the darkness. But the last four weeks have changed everything, as so many women have shared similar stories, of which the press have belatedly taken heed.



Still I struggled with how to reveal my big secret, and more importantly, what would people think when and if I did? Would they dismiss me as an angry black woman intent on ruining the image of one of the most revered men in the African American community over the last 40 years? Or would they see my open and honest account of being betrayed by one of the country’s most powerful, influential, and beloved entertainers?



As I wrestled with the idea of telling my story of the day Bill Cosby drugged me with the intention of doing God knows what, the faces of Trayvon Martin, Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and countless other brown and black men took residence in my mind.



As if I needed to be reminded. The current plight of the black male was behind my silence when Barbara Bowman came out to tell the horrific details of being drugged and raped by Cosby to theWashington Post in November. And I watched in horror as my longtime friend and fellow model Janice Dickinson was raked over the coals for telling her account of rape at Cosby’s hands. Over the years I’ve met other women who also claim to have been violated by Cosby. Many are still afraid to speak up. I couldn’t sit back and watch the other women be vilified and shamed for something I knew was true.


When I sat down to write my memoir in 2013, I pondered if I should include my Cosby experience. I didn’t want to get involved in a he-said/she-said situation. Now that other women have come forward with their nightmare stories, I join them.



Finally, I reached the conclusion that the current attack on African American men has absolutely nothing to do at all with Bill Cosby. He brought this on himself when he decided he had the right to have his way with who knows how many women over the last four decades. If anything, Cosby is distinguished from the majority of black men in this country because he could depend on the powers that be for support and protection.


I had to use my voice as a sister, mother, and grandmother, and as a woman who knows that, according to the C.D.C., nearly one in five women has been sexually assaulted at some time in her life, and that women of color face an even higher attack rate.


In part because of what happened to me nearly 30 years ago, I have agreed to serve on the board of the Barbara Sinatra Center for Abused Children. The experience has been as humbling as it has been rewarding. Many of the young children I work with have been sexually abused and I watch in awe of their bravery as they work to recover and feel better.



How could I be any less brave?



Beverly Johnson was a top model during the 70s and 80s and was the first African American woman to appear on the cover of American Vogue in 1974.


Thank you Ms. Beverly Johnson & Vanity Fair.




At what point do we as humans start to believe in Bill Cosby’d victims and demand him being brought to justice for his crimes of being a sexual predator? What if his victims had all been unknown average everyday women, and not famous ladies such as Ms. Beverly Johnson? Rape/sexual assault never should contend with the abuse of being “believable” when they come forward and speak up….famous or not famous.


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When The Rape Victim Is To Blame Part II: An Open Letter to Sabrina Rubin Erdely & Rolling Stone Magazine.


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From The Good Men Project:

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An Open Letter to Sabrina Rubin Erdely: UVA rape survivor Elisabeth Corey has something to say to Sabrina Rubin Erdely and Rolling Stone about reporting on trauma. 


December 6, 2014 by


Dear Sabrina Rubin Erdely,

I was devastated by the Rolling Stone note yesterday regarding the UVA story.  As a survivor of a rape at UVA, as well as a trauma survivor of family-controlled child sex trafficking, I struggled to understand how you could be so careless.  I wondered how someone could set back the anti-rape movement so much by approaching a traumatic rape story in this way.  I wanted to vilify you as the sole reason that rape stories will never be trusted again.  But then I realized I could not do that.  I could not do that because you approached her horrific story the same way that everyone does. 

You approached her story as a factual, evidence-based narrative as if she was explaining what she had for dinner the past three nights.  You approached her as if this was an easy story for her to tell.  You approached her as if she didn’t need to be supported and understood throughout the telling of her story.

Every time a rape story is told in the media, the commentary immediately goes to the evidence.  What was the date?  What was the perpetrator’s full name?  How many witnesses were there?  And when evidence is unavailable, the story is dismissed as a lie.  Our legal system works this way.  And many times, when a truth is hard to take, we dismiss that truth with this technique.  We assume that if the story were true, it would be perfectly logical and consistent the first time it is told.  We assume that anything else, especially difficult stories, must be false.

For those who have not experienced trauma, this approach makes sense.  They have memories that work like a movie reel.  The memories are remembered in time order with details and faces and the associated emotions.  They are easy to relay to others.  We tell them like a story.  We may embellish a little to make them more fun and interesting at parties, but otherwise, it is a straight-forward process.

“A traumatic memory is stored in the
brain and body like a glass bottle is
shattered on the floor.  Everything
goes in different directions.”

But traumatic memories don’t work like that.  A traumatic memory is stored in the brain and body like a glass bottle is shattered on the floor.  Everything goes in different directions.  A part of the memory is stored in one part of the brain.  Another part of the memory is stored in another part of the brain.  The memories don’t store like a movie reel.  They store like the memories we have when we were toddlers.  This happens because the same part of our brain is in charge.  We are in flight, fight or freeze when we are experiencing trauma. The associated emotions are stored in the body causing some kind of inexplicable chronic pain.  This is why many victims of crimes tell their stories without any emotion.  The emotion is separate from the memory.  This can make it even harder to believe the victim.  We see this in the news all the time.  The victim must be lying because they didn’t cry when they told their horrible story.

“I have a flash of a scene.
I have an understanding of the event.
But the details you desire are not available to me.”

I get questions all the time when I tell my story.  Who did that to you?  What is their full name?  Where are they today?  What date did that happen?  How old were you?  Do you have any witnesses that can corroborate that story?  These questions can be difficult for multiple reasons.  1) I can’t always tell you those details.  I may remember what happened.  I may remember who did it.  I may have a face with no name or a name with no face.  I may know the season because I remember what I was wearing, but have no idea my age or the year.  I have a flash of a scene.  I have an understanding of the event.  But the details you desire are not available to me.  2)  If you are asking me these questions, I immediately assume you don’t believe me either.  And my response is to move away from my relationship with you because it is no longer safe.

So the next time you choose to write an article involving an individual with a traumatic story, please take the time to become trauma-informed.  If the victim tells you they are no longer comfortable with telling their story, honor that.  If the victim tells you the facts have shifted from the original story, honor that.  This cannot be a story with a deadline.  You cannot bully this victim in to telling you what they do not know or can’t speak.  You cannot discredit them to save your own reputation.  If you treat a victim in this way, you are just another predator and you have re-traumatized the victim.  You become part of the problem, part of the traumatic story.

So, do your due diligence.  You should not only be an expert writer with an accurate story, but you should understand the victim and how they recall their story.  If you cannot take the time to do that, don’t write their story.


Elisabeth Corey, MSW

Note: The editors also recommend this video for more information on the neurobiology of sexual assault.


Interview with Dr. Rebecca Campbell on the Neurobiology of Sexual Assault (1 of 3)


Interview with Dr. Rebecca Campbell on the Neurobiology of Sexual Assault (2 of 3)



Interview with Dr. Rebecca Campbell on the Neurobiology of Sexual Assault (3 of 3)


The Good Men Project.


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When The Alleged Rape/Sexual Assault Of 19 Women Becomes A Rush To Protect The Sexual Predator.



I have been paying close attention to this entire Bill Cosby rape/sexual assault accusation drama as it unfolds in our faces. I am not torn between believing the supposed victims or believing Bill Cosby’s silence. I fully, 5000%, believe the ladies and what they have accused Bill Cosby of doing over decades. I have a tendency to believe women when they say they have been raped, doesn’t matter if the rapist names are William Jefferson Clinton, Cee Lo Green, Mike Tyson or John Smith. I believe victims of rape over those accused of raping. Especially when the accused rapist is silent, hoping that these rape/sexual assault accusations were to vanish.


I would like you to watch the following two videos and then think about every word these rape/sexual assault victims have to say about their experiences. Listen to them, watch their body language and motions. Observe their words and movements while speaking.


New Cosby accuser: 12 more were raped


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Don Lemon welcomes five Cosby accusers


As with most Americans, I know several women who have been raped and each of those rape victims do NOT sit and talk about their rapes. These courageous ladies are survivors and live each day dealing with the violation/violence of rape, in their own ways. They are not reliving the assault. They are not thinking of ways to seek revenge. They are not harboring resentment or hatred for those who took from them what was NOT their’s to steal. Most of these women are trying to live each day as a human after being treated as much less than human.


India Gang Rape

When did being raped in America become the fault of the victim because she does not have the support of society to come forward immediately to press charges? The United States military is rife with rapist and the victims are told to shut up. Be quiet. Don’t tell. American college campuses are so blatantly protecting college campus rapist that it’s front page news. This is happening in the year 2014, what do you wonder the climate for a rape victim would have been 40 years ago. Against a celebrity such as The Famous Bill Cosby? Every-bodies favorite “Dad”, Dr. Heathcliff “Cliff” Huxtable? 


What do you think the response would be if a 19, 20, 25 year old woman were to publicly announce that America’s 3rd most trusted father figure had raped them. How would a woman be viewed if she told the cops or a lawyer that Bill Cosby drugged her, then raped her, then sent her on her merry way. Mr Jello. Mr. Fat Albert. Mr I Spy. A sexual predator. Who would believe a nobody unknown female? 40 years ago.


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This following video is long but it contains some history that to my uneducated mind, gives some insight into what may have driven Bill Cosby to become a serial rapist. The maker of this video has not a clue what the video reveals about Bill Cosby as a young man, that might have set his character for him to become a sexual predator. Bill Cosby came from an abusive childhood, mean violent father. Had a fascination with “spanish fly” and giving it to girls. Watch, listen, then think.


The Truth About Bill Cosby


Then of course we have the following video which plays the Black man persecuted race card. You know, the “caucasian women crying rape against a Black celebrity” ruse as told by Professor Griff & Zaza Ali. This is total nonsense.


Professor Griff & Zaza Ali discuss Bill Cosby and The Rape Allegations


These rape/sexual assault allegations against Bill Cosby are not race based. They are opportunity based. They are power & control based. Race is only important in the choice of the skin color of the victims Bill Cosby chose. He avoided raping or sexually assaulting women of color and I’d guess thats because he was a very race conscience man.


I have been amazed and disgusted by the number of women protecting and supporting Bill Cosby. In my mind that is equal to a Black man supporting racist cops who kill and assault other Black men. I just don’t get that at all. How does a woman doubt and sneer at a woman who says she was raped? 19 other women? It is clear that humans have the ability to have secret lives. Double personalities. Evil characters living inside. Is it possible that while Bill Cosby was the world’s favorite dad, while Bill Cosby was busy telling Eddie Murphy he cussed too much in his comedy routines, or busy “fathering” Lisa Bonet on her career choices to do nude movie scenes or nude magazine covers, he was occupied raping and sexually assaulting women?


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Thats not so uncommon in our society. Our ministers, preachers and priest are always lecturing us on the ways of God & how to be more Christ like on Sunday, then getting busted with hookers on Monday.


My question still remains unanswered….When Did The Alleged Rape/Sexual Assault Of 19 Women Become A Rush To Protect The Sexual Predator….And Treat The Alleged Victims As If THEY Are The Criminals?


Screenshot (2610) Rape No.Rape_

UVA rape victims calls on university officials across country for change



Article on sexual assault provokes investigation at UVA



Victims say UVA covering up rape claims



‘Invisible War’ Shines Light on Rape in the Military


Are THESE women lying as well as Bill Cosby’s accusers? Wake The Fuck Up America.

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The MilitantNegro SoapBox™: Camille Cosby.



I have not had much to say about Bill Cosby’s current hot mess of a life concerning the now 15/16 women who have come forward to accuse Bill of rape, sexual assault or inappropriate behavior. I have not had much to say because I never heard of a single peep of this until last week. I’ve never been a big fan of Cosby or his work. I was not a big fan of the Cosby Show like most of America.  Don’t get me wrong, I was not a big fan because I had a premonition about his character, I just didn’t like his talent. I never thought he was funny and I didn’t like his acting.


I have but one dose of advice for Bill, talk. Speak up. Say something. Acting like a deaf mute or a 3rd grader who believes if he ignores the rape talk and keeps his head buried in the sand, this will fade away….thats asinine. In this day and age of social media, nothing just goes away Bill. The sooner you discuss your current state of life, as soon as you tell your fans, whom I am not one, your side of these rape/sexual assault allegations, the sooner it moves from page 1 to page 12.


My mind went to his wife, the gorgeous Renaissance Woman, Ms. Camille Cosby. I wonder how she feels sitting next to Bill as he ignores the 15/16 ladies who say unspeakable things about her husband. I wonder does she believe the 15/16 women? Does she think Bill was ever capable of rape or sexual assault against teenagers? Below is a writer named Blue Telusma, who writes for, who has put into words what I was thinking.




Camille Cosby, another victim of the controversy?




Blue Telusma is a Washington-based writer for, an online venue devoted to perspectives that affect and reflect the African-American community. Follow @theGrio on Twitter or like it on Facebook. The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of the author. Follow her on Twitter.


(CNN) — Camille Olivia Hanks was studying at the University of Maryland when she met Bill Cosby in the early ’60s. He was doing stand-up comedy in Washington when the two were set up on a blind date. They fell in love and she left school to support his burgeoning career in entertainment.


By 1964, the two were married and they would go on to have five children together. In 1997, their son Ennis (who inspired the character Theo Huxtable) was murdered, and a few years later Dr. Camille Cosby did a one-on-one with Oprah explaining how she’d eventually been able to find joy after mourning the loss of a child.



Throughout that interview it was so clear that you were looking at the real-life Clair Huxtable that even Oprah seemed a bit star-struck by her poise and grace.

During her 2000 appearance on Oprah, Camille revealed:

“I became keenly aware of myself in my mid-thirties. I went through a transition. I decided to go back to school, because I had dropped out of college to marry Bill when I was 19. I had five children, and I decided to go back. I didn’t feel fulfilled educationally. I dropped out of school at the end of my sophomore year. So I went back, and when I did, my self-esteem grew. I got my master’s, then decided to get my doctoral degree. Education helped me to come out of myself.”


When asked why she wasn’t content to just settle for being the wife of a famous entertainer she continued:

“I don’t know exactly what it was, except that for me, integrity is important. For me friendships are important, family is important, and it is a blessing if we can have monetary benefits. That’s wonderful, and I love it. But I have to have the security of people who really care about me, and me about them. I want to be surrounded by people who have integrity. And, of course, my name is Camille, not Bill.”

That was a beautiful answer. But a lot has changed since then.

These days, Camille Cosby is standing alongside her husband during what may turn out to be the worst month of his long career.

For the last few weeks, the beloved TV dad who used to sell us Jell-O pudding pops has been at the center of an ever-growing scandal. He has canceled several appearances, Netflix has postponed the launch of his stand-up special, NBC nixed plans for a new comedy show, and this week Janice Dickinson became the latest woman to make allegations against him; telling E Newsthat he raped her in 1982 after she’d done a stint in rehab.

Cosby is arguably the most successful African-American performer in television history, but this isn’t the first time he has found himself under scrutiny for extramarital affairs.

In his biography, “Cosby: His Life and Times,” Mark Whitaker makes mention of the legendary comedian’s “roving eye” and even tells an anecdote about how he finally cut back on his womanizing by breaking up with his long-time girlfriend. Now it seems those softball admissions about having a weakness for beautiful women may have been shrouding something much more sinister than an affair.

From Dear Bill Cosby, heed your own advice and be accountable

In the last decade alone, more than a dozen women have accused Cosby of rape or sexual assault. No formal charges have ever been successfully filed, so even with all the media speculation, these claims are technically only allegations. But there is one person in this melee whose anguish is virtually indisputable: his wife, Camille.

So how does a woman like that end up spending 50 years of her life beside a man who is now alleged to be a serial rapist? One can only imagine the embarrassment she must be experiencing through all this. But her dilemma is a lot more common than you may think.

In a world that asks you to be a mother, a wife, a businesswoman and an alluring sexual being, women grapple with finding the balance between respecting themselves and prioritizing their relationships. While many say they would leave a spouse who cheats, experts estimate that approximately 50-75% of couples rocked by an affair stay together.

There are many reasons why some women choose to stay: the fear of being alone, financial dependency, belief that they can alter the behavior of their mate, professional status of their partner, deep emotional investment and family obligations.

It is hard enough to come back from infidelity in private, let alone when you have the added stress of being a public figure. Both Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Edwards have weathered similar storms with men they devoted their lives to. And one could argue that it is a lose/lose situation for any wife who finds herself in that position: If you stay, people judge you for not standing up for yourself, and if you leave there is endless speculation about why your marriage failed.

But this isn’t just a simple case of being cheated on. There are some very serious stories coming to the forefront from those who describe Cosby as a sexual predator, who for decades allegedly drugged and violated young women who looked up to him as a mentor.


During one of Cosby’s old routines, he actually jokes about drugging young women.

Coincidentally the set is from his album “It’s True! It’s True!” which was released in 1969, the same year Joan Tarshis claims he drugged and raped her.

We can only speculate on what Camille’s reasons are for staying in her marriage, when she found out about each rape claim, or whether she believes in her husband’s innocence. She’s been stoic and tight-lipped through all this, exuding the unflappable composure that she is known for.

During the Monica Lewinsky scandal, many believed that had Hillary Clinton left her husband, his political career would have collapsed. Hillary Clinton may have well understood that her marriage wasn’t just a union between a man and a woman but a much larger political machine. Perhaps Camille Cosby, who is equally responsible for her husband’s career, feels a similar responsibility to maintaining the legacy and philanthropic institution she and her husband have built together.

Few knew that in the original “Cosby Show” pitch, Bill had planned to have Heathcliff be a limousine driver who was married to a Latina handywoman. Programming executives weren’t too thrilled with that idea, but it was Camille who convinced her husband to go in another direction.

According to another excerpt in Whitaker’s book:

“The producers felt strongly that both [parents on the show] should be college graduates. As Cosby had proved in his stand-up act, the war of wits between parents and children was even funnier if the parents thought of themselves as highly intelligent people.

“Finally, shortly before 1 in the morning, Cosby said the words that made Carsey think that she might be getting someplace: ‘I think my wife would agree with you.’

” ‘You will not be a chauffeur!’ Camille said when he briefed her on the meeting. ‘Why not?’ Cosby asked. ‘Because I’m not going to be a carpenter!’ Camille said.”

That snippet gives a rare glimpse into the type of bond these two have, and also illustrates that Mrs. Cosby has not just been her husband’s muse, but also a trusted adviser who keeps his career on track, behind the scenes.

Sunday when NPR host Scott Simon asked Cosby about the resurfaced rape charges, he was met with a wall of silence. Later on, Simon admitted to CNN that during that awkward moment in the interview, the one thing he couldn’t do was look at Camille.

“I did not look at Mrs. Cosby, and I don’t mind saying I might’ve been a little uncomfortable doing that anyway,” Simon said.

That’s what many find so unsettling about all this: the deafening silence of it all. The same man who has spent years waxing poetic about every social issue under the sun has now fallen completely mute on us, with his equally reticent wife by his side.

The Cosbys’ union remains seemingly stable through half a century of life’s ups and downs, and as someone who respects the institution of marriage I find that commendable. But when does the adage of “stand by your man” go too far?

I’m rooting for black love as much as the next person — but not like this.

From Dr. Huxtable no more, Cosby lost that persona after 13 rape allegations


Thank you Blue Telusma and


Camille Cosby, another victim of the controversy?


Published on Nov 20, 2014

Bill Cosby’s wife, Camille, is reluctantly in the spotlight due to sexual assault allegations against her husband.



I wonder how many times anyone can recall a caucasian person ever calling another caucasian person,….articulate?




I will reserve judgement on Bill Cosby’s guilt or innocence until he speaks on this issue and addresses the 15/16 allegations directly. I will refrain from calling him a sexual predator or a serial rapist until he is found guilty in a court of law or admits his guilt. I have to do it that way because I was not present nor do I know the ladies who accuse him of violating them. I will repeat what I said above, Bill needs to handle this by talking about this.


That said……lets move on to the stupid.


This is stupid on several levels. First off, Ms. Dash is a known Fox News employee, which automatically removes intelligence from her character traits. Now some will say Ms. Dash is only relating her experience with Bill Cosby. Thats fair. Here’s my response: If Ms. Dash had been sitting in the Aurora Theater on July 20, 2012, when James Holmes walked in and killed 12 moviegoers and injured 70 others…would Ms. Dash have tweeted that she was present in that theater but was NOT shot by Mr. Holmes? Would Ms. Dash have pointed out that on that fateful evening she was in the theater with Mr. Holmes but he didn’t shoot her and was a perfect gentleman?


Ms. Dash, there are millions of women that were never raped, groped, durgged or sexually assaulted by Mr. Cosby, but there are 15/16 women who say they were. So does your experience being alone with Bill make their claims of rape or sexual assault any less real or horrific?



Nobody knows what happened in the cases of these 15/16 women. Only those present know what happened, and thats Bill and numbers 1 through 15. 16 if you include Camille Cosby.


This tweet by @RealStaceyDash makes my ass need a drink of whisky. It further proves just how stupid this young woman is and just how stupid her mind works, or does not work. Because Bill Cosby didn’t rape you when you were alone with him means what exactly? How many women was Bill Cosby alone with that he didn’t rape or sexually assault? Millions. What concerns me are these 15 whom say he did rape/sexually assault them. 15 Victims.


16 if you count Camille Cosby.




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